BERTHA
She is a 94-year-old Republican.
I am a 68-year-old Democrat.
Thankfully, we each are members of the First United Methodist Church in Smithville, which almost always leads to calmness in religious conversations.
Bertha Robinson McBride and my mother, Sallie Parker Foutch, were each born in 1928 in DeKalb County; she on November 5 and Mom on April 14.
In longevity, Bertha has become my best friend, regardless of the 26-year age difference.
Our lengthy conversations revolve around people, places, and things, encompassing today, tomorrow and the future. No one within close proximity can decipher our shared personal language communications.
Our birthdays are in the same month – November.
We met by chance six years ago as residents of the assisted living facility, The Webb House, Jennings Lane, Smithville. Today, our extended family members numbers around 50 in-house residents.
We’ve become almost inseparable; except she loves playing bingo and I love doing anything else.
Bertha is totally unlike anyone I’ve ever met. Her brain contains more knowledge than Carter’s liver pills! The majority of the time, her memory vault is more functional and productive than mine and many others. If I have a frequent difficult time remembering something, Bertha doesn’t. Her answers are clear, concise, intelligent, rapid and swift. She is truly amazing and mesmerizing, even if she is a BIG R, as she refers to herself. Like I don’t know my spelling abbreviations!
Every day of every year, she and I meet in the Assisted Living’s dining room around 5:30 a.m. for a meeting of the minds in the late Clamon Cantrell’s named “Coffee Club,” while enjoying the companionship of several other residents, which include Vernon Baker, Michael Young, Robert Robinson, Audrey Webb, and Ralph Thomas, among other friends. For some unknown non-definitive reason, Bertha has learned to read my lips, which the late Tommy Webb always said were “ugly and huge!” This inspiring move stems from Bertha’s obstructive hearing loss. But, she’s not alone. Most senior residents, especially here, are hearing impaired at various levels. And, someway, I can always understand when she doesn’t understand the spoken word. My Dad, McAllen Foutch, lost a portion of his hearing during his middle-age years. As an attorney in court almost daily, he was infamous for adjusting his hearing aid, located on both sides of his eye glasses, to hear all defense and prosecution witnesses. If he didn’t want to hear them, he would reduce the volume on his hearing aid, sometimes, while muting all sound. Believe it or not, I seem to speak extremely loud like Dad did. Only problem is that my recent medically tested hearing levels were “perfect.” So, what’s my inherited excuse now?
There is a time-honored statement that is written and paraphrased “One does not miss their friend/friends until they are no longer with him/her.” On Wednesday, April 5, I emotionally and physically lived these words when Bertha fell onto the hard laminate floor in the Beauty Shop in the Webb House, later transferring to a Murfreesboro Hospital. My non-nocturnal ageless friend proved her inner and outer strength by fighting a left broken hip and a severely fractured left arm. Each injurie required surgery. Yes, two surgeries on a 94-year-old Republican! I, along with many others, was terrified for her and her family. The Murfreesboro Hospital assured and comforted them, while I, and other residents, kept our heads bowed in prayer by Elder Ralph Thomas and the Rev. V.L. Baker.
Unrelenting and unsurmountable group and individual prayers were answered. My cute little Trump worshiper (Trumper) had survived! Too bad, Trump won’t. Let me explain. Many years ago, Bertha and I made a survival pact. “We would never discuss politics” because she is a strong Republican and I am an even-stronger Democrat. Case closed. Ironically, we have never spoken an unkind political word or connotation. Ever.
Today is Wednesday, April 12th, and Bertha has landed at NHC in Smithville for physical therapy, something neither of us like. For further evidence and verification concerning this matter, ask Kim Foutch, our friend and physical therapist.
I’m counting the days until we’ll be together again, laughing uncontrollably at absolutely nothing, yet always having a wonderful time!
The following is entitled “Desiderata” by Max Ehrmann@1927. It has long been my favorite poetic reading. After recently sharing this poem with Bertha, it has become her favorite also. It reads:
“Go placidly among the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence, as far as possible without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.
“Speak your truth quietly and clearly, and listen to others, even to the dull and ignorant: they, too, have their story.
“Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself to others, you may become vain and bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
“Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
“Exercise caution in your business affairs for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere, life is full of heroism.
“Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection; neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.
“Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrounding the things of youth.
“Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with sudden imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
“Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.
“And, whether or not, it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore, be at peace with GOD, whatever you conceive him to be. And, whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.
“WITH ALL IT’S SHAM, DRUDGERY, AND BROKEN DREAMS, IT IS STILL A BEAUTIFUL WORLD. BE CAREFUL AND CHEERFUL. STRIVE TO BE HAPPY.”
