I have often wondered and thought upon funerals and our customs for the dead. Maybe it’s a morbid thought, but it is also a fact of life. Being a history buff, I have studied many customs in the ancient world for their funerary practices. The Egyptians mummified their dead and made provision for them to ‘travel’ through the afterlife. Many cultures made funeral pyres, burying the bones of the dead afterwards. I remember when family would stay up with the dead throughout the night. And I couldn’t even count the number of funerals I have attended. It has always seemed important to hold funeral traditions to say ‘goodbye’. Our treatment of the dead has always been important to us. In fact, we often treat people when their dead better than we did while they lived.
That is why this passage has always puzzled me: ‘Then another of His disciples said to Him, “Lord, let me first go and bury my father.” But Jesus said to him, “Follow Me, and let the dead bury their own dead.” (Matt 8:21-22) Doesn’t this this seem rather cold and callus? After all, most cultures take very careful steps in their funerary practices. So, why would Jesus tell this man to ‘let the dead bury their own dead’?
Perhaps the key lies in 2 Sam 11:15-23. God was angry with David concerning Bathsheba, who found herself pregnant with David’s child. After having Bathsheba’s husband, Uriah, killed in battle, Nathan confronted King David with what he had done. After David repented, God told him the child would not live. Just as God said, the child fell ill. As the child lay dying, David fasted and prayed constantly. He did not wash nor heed anyone’s voice. When David found out the child had died, he anointed himself, washed and worshiped the Lord. His servants didn’t understand. They, too, were puzzled by the king’s behavior. But David answered them, ‘While the child was alive, I fasted and wept; for I said, ‘Who can tell whether the Lord will be gracious to me, that the child may live?’ But now he is dead; why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me.’
When our loved ones are gone, they are gone. We can’t bring them back to us no matter what kind of funeral we give them. It doesn’t matter how much we spend on a splendid coffin or how much we grieve – we cannot call them back. The only thing we can do is go to them when our time on earth is done.
Jesus wasn’t being callous or unfeeling about this man’s grief. Rather, He was teaching His disciples that His gospel wasn’t for the dead, but for the living. We should not strive to remain in grief, but to believe in the resurrection and the living gospel.
Our time on this earth is limited, and we need to be about the Father’s business – not grieving the past.
