During the last few weeks, we've asked dads to give us ideas on what they would like addressed. Even though we couldn't see these dads in person, we envisioned them throwing their hands up in frustration as they wondered how to keep balance in their lives
Busy, busy, busy
Some people like to boast about how good they are at multi-tasking, juggling several balls at once and keeping oh, so busy, busy, busy. Our bet is that although they may be effective in some areas, other interest areas are being short-changed. We're human. Most of us are good at some things. Few of us are terrific at many things. None of us are masters of everything. It seems to us that the dad who prides himself on balancing the world on his shoulders should take a hard look at those things that are teetering and ready to fall. One of those ready to slip off could be his family.
Swallowed up by his job
There is a story about Urban Meyer, the new Ohio State football coach, in the Dec. 11, 2011, issue of “The Lantern,” the OSU student newspaper, written by Michael Periatt, with contributor Chelsea Castle. According to the story, before Meyer could sign the contract with the university, he had to sign an agreement with his wife and children that he would not allow coaching to absorb his entire life and rob him of his health or time with his family. According to the story, Meyer said the latter contract was the most difficult of the two to sign.
Meyer admitted that in previous years he had become obsessed with football. The excitement of the game and the thrill of competition comprised a powerful addiction. Today, although the allure of coaching is still very strong, Meyer has reshuffled his priorities. According to a former OSU player who worked with Meyer in broadcasting, there are people now in his life who will help him keep his revised priorities in order.
Go ahead, “cheat”
As difficult as it is to balance work, home, social, church, recreation and humanitarian endeavors, we believe that a father should always “cheat” on the side of his family. Of course many of these areas need to be monitored and maintained, but if anything needs to give a little, it should not be one's time with family. If it means taking a Friday off, leaving work two hours early, missing a meeting or a round of golf (ouch!) in order to create some special time with the family, then do it. The work will get done. There will always be other triple bogies to shoot. The committee will survive and move forward.
But your kids grow up fast. They earn gold stars, win spelling bees, perform in musicals, take home trophies, go on first dates … and ask for the family car. Suddenly they are graduating from high school and heading out toward life. You will never be able to replace those missed cheers, smiles, pats on the back or tears of joy-those once-in-a-lifetime magic moments. “Cheat” in favor of the ones you love most.
Contact Tom Tozer of Smithville or Bill Black of Murfreesboro at dads2dads@comcast.net.