Then Jesus came with them to a place called Gethsemane, and said to the disciples, “Sit here while I go and pray over there.” And He took with Him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, and He began to be sorrowful and deeply distressed. Then He said to them, “My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even to death. Stay here and watch with Me.” He went a little farther and fell on His face, and prayed, saying, “O My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will.” – Matthew 26:36-39
I have often been puzzled about Jesus’ prayer in the garden. He knew He was going to die; He came to earth for that purpose. True, He was about to face a horrific death taking the sins of the world with Him. But still I have often wondered why. After turning this over and over in my heart, God revealed something to me.
Physical pain is never easy, whether it be a broken bone or a battle with cancer. Yet, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes God chooses to heal on this side of eternity; sometimes He chooses to take us home for complete and eternal healing. Yet, there is always a certain end. Jesus knew He would be beaten, crucified, and suffer more than we can ever imagine. But would this alone cause Him to be ‘sorrowful, even to death’?
When the time drew near, Jesus knew what He was about to face. It wasn’t the physical pain that caused Him to be sorrowful – it was the betrayal of those He loved. He would be abandoned by those who had promised to never leave Him. He knew Judas would betray Him for thirty pieces of silver. He knew Peter would claim to not know Him. He knew He was about to face His death alone. Even His Father in heaven would not be able to look upon Him. He not only would face a human death, He had to take the sin of us all upon His heart. He would face the darkness of condemnation – sins of every one of us – completely alone. Can you imagine the pain of the darkness He would face?
It was not physical death that made Him sorrowful – it was His broken heart.