As a parent you try to impart wisdom to your children at a young age, if nothing else to give them just one nugget of knowledge they can carry on with them as a legacy left behind by dear old dad. In the case of my just turned 13-year-old son Henry, I have succeeded. My work is done and I can now relax on a tropical island somewhere and live out my remaining days in luxurious bliss.
Okay, it doesn’t work that way. Once a parent, always a parent. As you know if you read my column semi-regular, Henry turned 13 this week. And, as a newly minted teenager, Henry is presenting those annoying teenager qualities.
“I’m not a kid anymore, dad,” Henry says when I say something that he thinks is “beneath” him now at his advanced age. “I’m not in kindergarten. I’m a teenager.”
All I can do is roll my eyes. Did I miss the memo where it was declared by the forces that be that you know everything there is to know when you turn 13? I’m way past 13 and I’m now old enough to realize I don’t know much about anything.
“So you think you know it all now?” I responded to Henry’s declaration.
“I am 13 now,” Henry retorted in a somewhat arrogant tone as I pulled up to a stop light and popped my seatbelt.
“Okay, you want to drive?” I offered him the steering wheel.
“I’m not 16 yet,” he huffed, actually believing I’d let him drive. “I don’t have a license yet.”
I snapped my seatbelt back on. “But I thought you were all grown up,” I said as I went through the green light. “Too old for a Happy Meal I guess.”
Henry’s eyes got wide. “No. I still like Happy Meals,” he eagerly shot back.
As I guided the car toward the restaurant, I thought I’d try to impart that bit of knowledge I was talking about.
“You know, teenagers often think they know everything,” I began. “But actually, when you’re that young, there’s still a lot to learn so you should really listen to people who are mature who can educate you about life.”
Henry looked at me like I had two heads. “Huh?”
“I’m just saying almost make sure to keep learning,” I clarified. “Don’t ever think you know it all.”
Henry cocked his head. “Huh?”
So we went to the restaurant and he got his Happy Meal with milk to drink. However, before leaving I thought I’d show him a little trick I learned. I opened his milk and poured some coffee sweetener into it. “This makes milk taste sweet,” I explained as Henry took a swig.
“Mmmmm! He exclaimed. “That is awesome.’
No sooner had he got home than he told him mother about the milk trick daddy had taught him. Then, later that day he told his granny. Then, the next day, his best friend. Now he demands sweetener in his milk. He calls it daddy’s milk trick.
So, there you go. I’m successfully imparted wisdom to my youngest son that he will take through life. Mission completed.