I've been thinking about Barbies (I know, it's a weird way to begin, but bear with me).
My daughter is reaching the age where soft, “realistic” baby dolls just aren't enough. She's ready to move on to the hard (plastic) stuff-Barbie dolls, Bratz, and the like. For the first time, I'm looking at these dolls with a critical eye. And I don't really like what I see.
So many young girls own and love them. I was one of them. I had hundreds of these miniature human dolls and the houses and cars to go along with them. I enjoyed dressing them up and throwing doll parties at Barbie's Beach Bungalow in Malibu.
It's a good thing I was an only child at that point, because there's no way I would ever share my Barbies. My best friends, who would bring their own trash bags filled with Barbie dolls to my house, knew that playing with my dolls was off-limits. It's not that I was really mean-or was I? I was just very particular about my Barbies, who had to be fully clothed and shoed (is that a word?). That's harder than it sounds, because somehow those little Barbie shoes disappear the day you get them. Sometimes you'll keep up with one, but what's the point? Is Barbie going to hop to her important job as an executive at Mattel on one Manolo Blahnik?
I wanted to make it clear that I am no outsider to the Barbie phenomenon. I'm not judging the current Barbie-lovers--I loved them as a child, too. I know it's fun to play pretend with dolls that look like humans and don't argue when you act out immature soap operas with them.
But now that I'm a mom, I look at Barbies a bit differently. Instead of a fun, girly toy that encourages children to use their imagination, I see a plastic doll that little girls sort of look up to. They love her hair, her clothes, her eyes, her shoes, and her signature Barbie attitude. Maybe they even wish they looked like her.
That creates cause for concern because-outside of Hollywood, I guess-no one really looks like Barbie. I think that's an important thing to make clear to our daughters (and sons). If I want to raise a smart, confident young lady, I have to put the right stuff “in.” I'm starting to think that buying toys like Barbies and Bratz dolls puts the wrong ideas into my daughters' head. I don't want her to think wearing sultry eye makeup an inch thick is normal (I'm looking at you, Bratz!) or that women should all follow the 36-24-36 mold-cough, cough, Barbie. Sir Mix-A-Lot would definitely agree with me here.
Do the toys our children play with really make a difference in how they turn out? I'm not sure. I was raised on Barbies, and I think I turned out alright, but don't take my word for it. I won't ban Barbies at my house, but I won't be actively supporting them. After all, Barbie addiction runs in my family, and I wouldn't want my daughter to be next. For now, she can be happy with the Barbie she got for her birthday from a friend and the Bratz doll from last Christmas (from which she removed the feet-not shoes, but feet-from a day after she got it).
Think twice about the toys you buy your children, and ask yourself-“Is this going to help my kid turn out the way I want them to?” Also, remember to stop and ask yourself this when you're in the middle of buying them a train ticket to Timbuktu after they've been on your nerves all afternoon. Actually, just go ahead and ask yourself that question before you do anything parent-related. Just to be safe.
Love, Mom
Debra Carpenter is a novice mother, wife, and college student. She is a Lebanon, TN native. She writes about the parts of parenthood you didn't expect when you were expecting.
Mother, Interrupted
Mamas banning Barbies?