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The crappie fishermen letter
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Dooley didn't get mail of his own very often, so you can imagine the smile on his face when there was a shiny new brochure folded neatly in his mail box with his name on it. He was even more happy when he realized it was from a boat and fishing equipment company. 
The letter was neatly typed amid the pictures of boats and fishing equipment for sale. Dooley hurriedly read the letter, which read in part: “Dear sir, We have received a list containing your name which lists many of the real crappie fisherman in your area.” The more he read over that letter the more irritated he became. Finally his steam reached a breaking point and he fired off a letter in response which read: “Now hold on here just a cotton picking minute. I know I don't catch as many fish as Thurman Seber nor even cousin Billy Clyde, but there are good reasons for this. They always team up on me and  grab the best spots to fish from first. Still, that gives you no right to call me a crappy fisherman. I am highly offended and demand an explanation, or else I intend to write President John F. Kennedy  with a formal complaint against your company.”  This must have caused quite an uproar at the fishing company, because not many days later he received this letter of explanation.
“My Dear Brother, please allow me to properly interpret your letter for your better understanding. This letter is in no way intended to insult your ability to fish using the meager equipment you now possess. We simply understand that without proper upgrades in fishing equipment you are and will remain a crappie fisherman. On the other hand should you be willing to spend a measly $20,000 or so for a new fishing rig which would include our brand new top of the line fishing boat complete with heavy duty trailer and electric trolling motor, plus another  thousand for our top of the line fishing equipment, you will be magically transformed into a great fisherman.. This is especially true if you will buy a new Ford F1 to tow your rig with. Come in today and be changed from crappie to great taking advantage of our 1 percent spring discount to all you crappie fisherman.. Signed.. I. B. Turtle Man crappie fisherman specialist.”
Dooley felt a lot better  after reading this letter, and he immediately started to calculate how he would ever be able to save that much money.  He already had seven dollars and twenty eight cents laid back for a nest egg, so it seemed something he should be able to accomplish within a couple of years at the most. He saved fifty cents more when he sold the blackberries he had picked. 
Sometimes we are lured by the gold and glitter of this world and forget there are better things with God than the devil can ever offer.
My new “Book Needmore Days” is now available, and can be picked up at the Smithville Review office for $12 each, or can be ordered by mail at the same price with free shipping included. For those who choose, copies can also be picked up at our home for $10 each. Thurman Seber, 210 East Main St.  Alexandria, Tn 37012.