Those in glass houses should never throw rocks. I never really understood that line since no one I know of lives in a glass house in the first place and if I actually did live in a glass house, I’d be more worried about tornadoes as a glass house in a twister would make the average trailer park look like a nuclear bomb fallout shelter in comparison.
But this column isn’t about glass houses. No, it’s about dodging rocks. Specifically dodging them on Highway 45 between here and McMinnville.
“You big dummy,” I can hear you saying after I referred to Highway 56 (McMinnville Highway) as Highway 45. “Don’t you even know the road names?”
Actually, the highway between McMinnville and Smithville is known to some as Highway 45 since you generally get behind someone who refuses to go over 45 miles per hour on the two-lane stretch, most of which is a double yellow line which forbids passing. These 45’ers act like their car will explode if they actually hit 46 on the speedometer even though the speed limit most of the way is 55 (translated to 65 for us scofflaws who take our lives in our own hands and do 10 over).
The chances of getting behind one of those putt-putt drivers increases exponentially with your rush to get to McMinnville or Smithville. If you’re in no hurry, the road will be wide open except for that one trooper who you will pass while you’re doing 75. That’s more than 10 over, lead foot.
“Do you know how fast you were going, sir?” the trooper will say as he asks for license and registration.
“No officer, but I figure you’re about to tell me,” you respond as you’re about to get hit with a $200 ticket.
If you’re in a hurry then you will always have the 45’er who pulls out just ahead of you from some side road and goes like he’s in the Christmas parade, speeding up only when there’s a dotted line where you might could pass. There will always be that semi-truck coming when the possibility of passing presents itself, causing you to tuck back in behind the slow poke.
Sorry, I got off on a rabbit trail. This column isn’t about glass houses or 45’ers. This is about dodging rocks, specifically the horrifying highway of doom someone has set up just on the other side of the Warren County line. For some reason, and I’m sure it makes all the sense in the world, they put down a coating of tar and them put gravel on top of it. They then posted signs warning of “loose gravel."
They should have said “watch for shrapnel” instead as rocks flung by cars going 45 to 75 miles per hour are getting thrown at hyper speed. While I’m yet to lose a windshield, I can hear the rocks pinging off my paint job. From what I understand, several motorists have filed claims against whoever started the highway of doom.
Yes, my short commute to work has gotten adventurous. Now I not only have to worry about getting behind a 45’er, I also have to worry about him or her busting my windshield on the highway of doom.
Contact Duane Sherrill at
news@smithvillereview.com
